Mental Health Matters!

This past month has been full of many ups and downs. Ryan completed a daunting series of cognitive tests with a neuro-psychologist and we learned that his memory is astounding (he scored in the 95th percentile for memory, compared to the normal adult population)! But his processing speed is below the 5th percentile. No one expected his memory to be so good, especially after the damage that his brain has suffered! But the processing speed is one of the last things to recover after a brain injury, so that was expected. Essentially, Ryan's brain slows down to process every bit of information he perceives, including all of the "background" information that our brains normally filter out without a second thought. His fine motor skills were also deficient, as we had previously discovered in his occupational therapy. But there is hope that he will continue to recover these abilities, and he will re-take these tests again in June.

Ryan's grandfather passed away last month. His health had been in decline for several years, and we were very grateful to have been able to visit with him more frequently over the past several months. He will be greatly missed! Ryan was so happy to be able to put together a slideshow for his grandpa's viewing. The project took a lot of time and effort because things just don't come as easily and quickly for Ryan as they used to, but he was glad to be able to help. The whole funeral was put together so well, and was a beautiful tribute to a hard-working man! At the funeral, I couldn't help but think how grateful I was that I didn't have to plan a funeral for my Ryan this past summer.

Last week we made an important discovery. Did you know that certain antibiotics have been linked to suicidal ideation? Taking an antibiotic can actually lead a person to obsess about suicide. Ryan has experienced this multiple times, but it wasn't until this past week that we realized what was causing it.

This whole last week Ryan found his mood spiraling downward faster and faster than he could imagine. He was despondent, feeling completely hopeless. On Friday something clicked in my brain, that the last time he had felt this way, Ryan had been taking the antibiotic doxycycline to clear up some folliculitis. And he was currently on another round of doxycycline... A quick search on google revealed several case studies on the FDA website linking doxycycline to suicide. We immediately stopped the antibiotic, but Ryan's thoughts didn't clear up right away. He tried to stay busy, and to me he seemed to be slowly improving, but on Saturday night at 7pm he informed me that he had taken large doses of a couple of his medications at 5pm, hoping that it would end all of his suffering. We quickly called poison control and got Ryan to the ER. The main concern was how his heart would respond to the medications he had ingested. His blood pressure was very low, and an EKG showed some abnormalities. It took the nurses several tries to get an IV in Ryan, but they finally were able to, and started pumping fluids into him. Ryan was drowsy, but still awake and alert and apologetic for being "so selfish"... Ryan is one of the least selfish people I know!!! And though he has dealt with depression since he was a teenager, he had definitely not been "himself" the past week.

Ryan was given a priesthood blessing, and then transferred by ambulance to one of the hospitals that he stayed in this past summer. It was a bit surreal, walking along the same halls, even seeing some of the same doctors and nurses... But through it all, I kept thinking how grateful I was that Ryan was awake, that he was able to talk to me, that he was able to answer the questions posed by the medical staff. Ryan was given some medications to stabilize his heart, and they monitored his liver functioning. They transferred him to the ICU after 2am, which was another familiar place. We both caught a few hours of sleep, and when we woke up, Ryan was feeling more like himself. We had a long discussion, and he was evaluated by a social worker. A final EKG was done to make sure his heart was back to normal, and he was cleared to go home, with strict instructions on what to do if he starts feeling that way again.

I've done a little more research on antibiotics, and was shocked to find several classes of antibiotics that are linked to suicidal ideation and psychosis! Why is this not more well-known? And with all of the antibiotics that Ryan has taken in the past several months (he had MRSA in the hospital this summer), it's no wonder he was suffering so much! (Some studies show that the more antibiotic treatments a person goes through, the higher the risk they have of developing depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and psychosis.) I'm not saying that antibiotics are evil, but I do think that people should be told the possible risks of taking them! One doctor's office that I called last week flat-out denied that there was any connection between the medicine Ryan was taking and the risk of suicidal thoughts because the database they use to research those things doesn't list it as a possible side effect... Something is wrong there, if the FDA has it on their website, but the doctors don't even know about it!

Today Ryan is feeling a lot more positive. He is able to focus on tasks better, and isn't feeling the despondency and hopelessness that haunted his every thought last week. We pray that his mental health continues to improve. Mental health is just as important as physical health! Don't be afraid to reach out to others and tell them how you're feeling. Sometimes our minds don't allow us to be as objective about things as we could be, and talking about it can make a big difference.

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