Looking back over the last month

I spent a little time this morning looking through pictures I've taken over the last month and reviewing how things have been going. I feel peace and gratitude that things are generally moving in the right direction. Often over these past few weeks I've reflected on how I tend to think of things in straight lines, but they rarely end up that way. For example, as Ryan spent two months in hospitals last year, we had many medical professionals explain what his recovery would look like (some even drew the graph for us). The first graph below is basically what it looked like. (Please realize that I just threw these graphs together, so the number of weeks and the exact percentage of recovery varies and doesn't necessarily reflect any specific person's actual recovery.) And even though a few of them mentioned that there would be ups and downs, a major part of me honestly expected Ryan's recovery to smoothly follow the course of the imaginary line, with him just getting better and better each day.

If I had taken previous life lessons to heart, maybe I wouldn't have been quite as shocked when Ryan's recovery turned out to be more of a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs, as in the second graph. It's been disheartening for both of us when skills that Ryan seemed to have gained back suddenly disappeared again. For example, for the first three or four months in his recovery he could not handle being around large groups of people/lots of noise very well. His brain lost the ability to filter out all of the "background" information, and quickly became overwhelmed. Gradually he improved and was able to handle things better. But sometimes that regained ability just seems to vanish, and a single screech from an excited child can push him over the edge so he can no longer process what is going on around him effectively. This same thing has happened with skills involving focus and concentration, physical strength, memory, balance, managing emotions, etc. So a lot of these last few weeks has been filled with me realizing that every day will be a new day with different challenges, and sometimes those challenges will be ones that we thought we had already conquered. Some days we'll find ourselves at the bottom of a hill that we had hiked to the top of weeks ago. Instead of being discouraged at having to repeat the journey, we can be grateful that we now know the lay of the land a bit better.

One of our latest challenges has been dealing with anger and grief. One of Ryan's strengths is being patient with people, but that ability is really being stretched and tested lately. And it's compounded by the grief he is trying to process at losing so many abilities that he spent the first 35 years of his life developing. We're coming to terms with the idea that Ryan will likely not regain every ability to the same level that he had before, and that he may need to find new ways to contribute and new favorite hobbies that look completely different than we expected. One thing that hasn't changed is his compassion and desire to help others. His heart is so full of love and kindness, he wants others to feel that they are loved. The other day we witnessed a fender bender, and Ryan quickly asked our whole family to join in praying for those involved in the accident. He gives all he can to those around him, and I am so grateful for the example that he sets for me and our children! 💙💚💙💚💙

A big help and comfort to us is listening to General Conference talks. Last month's General Conference was so wonderful! 💜💜💜 And we listen to archived talks on a daily basis, with each talk bringing comfort and guidance, peace and joy. Here is a picture of the girls enjoying a session of General Conference. 😍 (They don't always get along so well... 😉😜)

Another way we get through the ups and downs of life is by spending time outdoors. Going on walks and hiking are some of our favorite family activities! 😊

Last year our apricot tree only had a few blossoms and didn't produce any fruit...but this year it is full of "popcorn popping", and we're looking forward to a bountiful harvest (if our dogs don't eat them all...). :)

On a walk, we spotted this monster dandelion!

Sappy loves romping through the forest, but she always ends up messy and covered in burrs! :D

We roasted hot dogs in our fire pit after a long, hard day of working on the yard.

And then we roasted multi-colored marshmallows, which looked really cool! :)

And celebrating special occasions gives us something to look forward to with anticipation and look back on with happiness! Easter was a peaceful holiday, where we reflected on the ultimate sacrifice that our Savior made for each one of us. And Becca's birthday was marked by so many kind messages and gifts from family and friends--she felt very loved!!! Thank you, everyone, for reaching out and helping her feel so special! The girls also each got haircuts by Grandma, looking forward to warmer temperatures this summer!

Becca LOVES baking and cooking, and she insisted on helping decorate her own birthday cake. 💜

6 Years Old!!!???!!! How did that happen?! The sparkly unicorn horn on the cake was drawn by Nicole.

Nicole also made this "Pin-the-leg-on-the-Wonky-Donkey" game for Becca's birthday. (Based on this book)

Look how much she has grown! (18-24 months in this picture)

Wishing you all a beautiful Sabbath day! We love and miss you all! 💜💜💜